The polyvagal ladder: which state is your nervous system in?
Sometimes you feel connected, calm and present. Sometimes rushed and tense. And sometimes just empty and numb.
These are not random moods. They are the three states of your nervous system, described by neuroscientist Stephen Porges in Polyvagal Theory. He calls it the polyvagal ladder.
At the top: the place where you are yourself
At the top sits the ventral vagal system. This is your home state: safety, connection, curiosity. You can think, play, create and make genuine contact with yourself and others. Your face is relaxed, your voice warm, your posture open.
Think of a conversation where you felt completely at ease, or an evening where you were simply present without having to work for it. That is this state.
In the ventral vagal state, you are not surviving. You are living.
In the middle: always on, even when it is not needed
In the middle sits sympathetic activation: the fight-or-flight state. Your body prepares for action. Heart rate up, muscles tensed, thoughts racing. This state is useful in the face of real danger.
But with chronic stress, this system stays active even when there is no real threat. Your body remains switched on long after the situation demands it. That costs energy. A lot of energy.
At the bottom: survival.
At the base sits the dorsal vagal state: immobilisation, freeze. This is the most primitive survival response in our system. Your body shifts into conservation mode. You feel empty, flat, shut down. Little energy, little emotion, little genuine presence.
You descend the ladder. You can also climb back up.
When pressure becomes too great, your nervous system drops automatically to a lower rung. First sympathetic activation, then dorsal freeze.
Someone who is chronically overwhelmed often moves between those two lower rungs: wired and tense, then exhausted and empty, then wired again. The top rung, the place of real rest and connection, can start to feel distant or even unfamiliar.
The good news: you can climb back up. Not through willpower, but through small, safe steps that give your nervous system signals of safety. That takes practice and time. But it is possible.
There is nothing wrong with you
Many people I work with feel ashamed of how they react. Too emotional. Too sensitive. Too exhausted. When clients understand that their automatic reactions are not a personal failure but an expression of their neurobiology, something fundamental shifts.
Going beyond understanding
Want to know where your nervous system stands right now? The free Nervous System Scan gives you a clear picture in just a few minutes.
Want to understand why your nervous system responds the way it does? The Nervous System Guide explains why your nervous system does what it does, and what you can change about it step by step.
Looking for personal guidance? Read more about 1:1 sessions.
